Time to Refuel

I have been struggling for a long time now with many personal demons. Tonight I had a breakdown. I cried and pleaded to my Heavenly Father for help. I don't know why I do and think the way I do. I feel like there's something missing inside me...like a fuel tank is empty and I'm working so hard just trying to keep going with the little left that I have. It's so hard sometimes...life can really weigh a person down. And right now I feel so weighed down...with my fears, my expectations, my insecurities, and other things that just keep piling on.

I need my savior, Jesus Christ. I need to draw closer to Him. I need to feel that once burning fire inside me, that feeling of joy and surety and peace. I think back to when I felt that feeling...oh how I miss it. I long for it. And you know what? It's not gone, I just need to want it and work for it again. It's so easy to get lost in life and distractions these days. I feel like I barely have time for my father in heaven and my savior.

So tonight, after I put the kids to bed. I switched laundry and came in and just prayed and talked to my Heavenly Father. I cried, I sat in silence, I listened and thought. Then I pulled out my Book of Mormon study guide that I have never used yet and my scriptures and "studied." It was so great! Definitely what I needed. No my house is not 100% clean and it's a little late for me to be up, but I needed to do this for me and for my savior. Having personal scripture study is a must and needs to be a priority...time to make it one.

(PS...I highly recommend getting this study guide. I'm sure you can tear apart every chapter of the BOM yourself, but it's nice to have a layout and a guide to walk you though it. I love it.)